Euphoria Christmas

    T'was the night before Christmas and Tokyo's good mist, the children were gathered to hark and get pissed. Are they nestled or snug in their beds? No! They're down at the pub, getting out of their heads.

    "/So what got to do,/" Sid said. "/Is get your fist up in its ass, okay? Make sure you're not wearing any rings or anything. And then you massage from the inside out./" Fujisaki served the drinks.

    "You're not cooking again, are you?" Shuichi asked. "You remember that squid and tofu stew?"

    "/You said you liked it!/" Sid protested. The vocalist shook his head.

    "We're having farm-fed turkey, lovingly based in it's own juice!" Fujisaki announced. "This isn't any Christmas dinner, this is Fujisaki's Christmas dinner!"

    "Since I was three," Ando said. "All I ever wanted was a nice big juicy turkey!"

    "Turkey's alright," Shuichi commented. "And we shouldn't have to worry about the whole family night thing." Ando quickly spit into his drink. He looked looked over at his pal like the vocalist had lost his mind.

    "Are you serious, man?" he asked. "'Why do you have to celebrate Christmas? Don't you like meditating?'"

    "Christmas is not what you think," Jack answered. "I mean there's access to family disputes over resources, commonly known as tiffs. Honestly because is blast!"

    "/Exactly,/" Casper chimed in. "/Every year, Lynn does the same annoying things. Like, she'll wrap up each of my presents and my stocking individually!/" Emma looked on at her.

    "#What and that's a bad thing?#" she questioned.

    "/Well yeah,/" Casper said. "/When you want to get to your main present.../" Everyone went silent. Jack took around drink. Ando leaned over to Fujisaki.

    "Say that turkey bit again," he said.

    "We're having a farm-fed, organically-reared turkey," the keyboardist said. As he spoke, Emma began to feel really sad. Outside, Emma took another drink of sake.

    "#Listen mate,#" she said to Ando. "#You don't... You... You don't need Christmas! Ah, it's like Christmas and all Christmas, you know what I'm saying?#" Ando looked at her.

    "Yeah, I tell ya, man!" he said.

    "#I think we should spend tomorrow together!#" Emma blurted out as they walked home together. Ando looked at her again.

    "Just me and you?" he asked.

    "#Yeah!#" the Aussie said. "#Does that sound like a plan?#" Ando smiled and put his arm around her. They walked further on into the night. So two comrades together, not a stocking in sight. Just a sparkling resolve to make Christmas not shite. Emma and Ando danced around in the street a bit drunk. They spent the night in her dorm. They lied peacefully head to foot in her bed.

    "Hey," Ando said waking up. "It would be like wrong or sort of perverted if we hugged, just a quick short one?" Emma thought about that for a moment. Then, she hugged on his ankles. Ando did the same. They both let go. Emma reached over and turned off the light. She tried to go to sleep.

    "Em," Ando said.

    "#Yeah?#" Emma asked.

    "I always hoped that if I pray to Buddha hard enough, he'll tell Santa where I am," the Buddhist went on. "And I'll wake up to a happy Christmas." He shook his head. "But that's just stupid, isn't it?" he asked.

    "#Yeah,#" Emma answered. They both went to sleep after that. Ando lied back and dreamt of the day when a turkey at Christmas for a Buddhist was okay.

    The next day, Ando woke up alone. He looked around the dorm and sighed. Emma was gone.

    "#Here you go, darling!#" the Aussie said as she handed him something to drink.

    "Thanks Em," Ando said. He took it and drank up. But, the boy spit it right back out. Emma shrugged a bit.

    "#What? I ran out of tea!#" she said.

    "What the f**k is this?!?" Ando cried. "It taste like you brewed up an old sock!" Emma looked away innocently as she was dunking the wet sock in and out of her cup.

    "Emma, this is shit, girl!" Ando yelped. "Everyone's celebrating; we're not going to pull this off!"

    "#Trust me, yeah?#" Emma replied as she nudged her head. "#Come on!#" Downtown, they peeked into the diner. It was closed for the day.

    "But this place is always open!" Ando wailed.

    "#Shall we?#" Emma asked. Then, she headed off down the street. Her pal followed behind.

    "#Who needs the greasy spoon when you got a park bench and cheap sake!#" Sadly, the sake place was closed today too. Ando kicked the door.

    "See? Everyone's f*****g celebrating!" he yelled.

    "F**k off, it's Christmas!" an old man yelled from inside.

    "#But, Saito!#" Emma pleaded. "#I thought you were the only Atheist drug dealer in town!#" The door opened wide. He chucked bread at them.

    "Yeah, it's party time and all!" he snapped. "Now, get out!" The Aussie and the Buddhist ran away as fast as they could. Saito chased after them while throwing bread. The pair ran for blocks. So now, they sat on the fence out of breath in the rain.

    "This couldn't get any worse," Ando complained. Then, seagulls pooped on him. He looked up unhappily. The pair began walking down the street together. Homewards they trudged with no need for haste, for there's no chance of turkey or getting shite-faced. They paused for a moment. Ando turned to his Aussie gal pal.

    "Next year, let's just try to sleep through it, okay?" he asked. Emma patted him on the back and walked on.

    "#Back to line, got kepluked with a bottle bendolin,#" the Aussie said at the front door. "#How can something with the word 'Chris' in it be so shite?#" she asked aloud. Suddenly, the door opened wide. Christmas joy greeted them all. The pair looked at each other surprised as they walked inside.

    "Happy Christmas!!!" the crowd yelled, dressed as the Nativity said. Ando and Emma looked at each other and screamed in joy. Jack, Casper, and Sid all greeted at him.

    "Season's greetings!!!" Shuichi Santa yelled as he threw fake snow into the air. Emma looked around happily.

    "#W-Where's Fujisaki?#" she asked. The present next to them opened up wide. The boy leapt out in hot Christmas apparel.

    "Ta-da!" he yelled. Emma and Ando were really excited now. Sid rose to his feet.

    "/And even for those who can't be here,/" he said. "/Are here!/" He turned on a laptop computer. Arisu dressed up like an angel appeared on the screen.

    "I'm sorry I can't be with you," she said. "But I'm here to tell you that Christmas is a time for family and that families come in all shapes and sizes!" Everyone smiled at that one.

    "Merry Christmas, everyone!" Arisu said. Casper popped the sake and everyone drank up. Fujisaki served the turkey. Ando got really excited.

    "At last, my love!" he yelled. Then, he embraced the turkey tightly. He fell in love with it right away. More drinks came around.

    "#Merry Christmas!#" Emma said with a toast.

    "Merry Christmas!!!" the others said as they toasted. Arisu danced around on the screen. Ando feasted on the turkey in high bliss. Jack and Shuichi did the Soldier Boy dance. Everyone got lost in high happy holiday bliss. And so it turned out, that dreams can come true and fest cheer did banish the blues. Good will and noel and presents to unwrap! Great friends at Christmas means, it doesn't have to be crap. Happy Holidays everyone!

Merry Christmas from Euphoria

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