James

Age: 16

Motto: Just do it, man!

This internet shit, man. I don't get it. Millions of fuckin' students pounding away at their keyboards, complaining about stuff. Complaining about what's on telly, and stupid crap like that. Wankers.

Have you seen that fuckin' clip? Those two girls beating the shite out of each other over some bloke they fucked? Sick, man. But it's LIFE, innit? For better or worse, it's real. That's more like it – that's what the internet is for, right? 

I'm James by the way. Alright?

I'd post that clip – but the computer I'm on, my mates, his parents have put a lock on it to stop looking at hentai. That's pretty unreasonable. 

I like watching clips of hardcore hentai. Mostly that yuri and the really good stuff that you would have to pay extra for in real life after dark. Class stuff, man.

There's these sites where you can watch all the American telly. Most of it's shit, like, but there's this show which is just these dudes fucking around with bikes. Sons of Anarchy, it's called. I like that one. I like the guns. Shows commitment.

Everyone's doing this social networking stuff. Poking each other and whatever. I'd join – but only to scope out the birds' tits – which is why every other fucker joins up anyway. Plus I'd only have two mates – that'd be the Alex-man and BJ. Decent blokes to have about, mind. Alex – he's cool. SK8R Boi and all that. You know the story. And he's a pretty fuck too. BJ – he's proper mental but his brain could've been designed by Casio, speed he thinks.

This is where I'd normally put all the shit I like, all the bands and footy players and telly I watch and that. Fuck that man. Who gives a shit? Who's got the time to piss around making lists?

Favorite Band: Seether, Oasis, and Rolling Stones

TV Shows: Sons of Anarchy

Film Stars: Pam Anderson and Vin Diesel

Dream Date: Kumi Koda

Favorite Website: http://www.4chan.org/

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