Monster Planet

Old boy Chris died three days ago. It seemed so strange; he was in good health and all of his neighbors saw him out and about that morning. Nobody noticed anything wrong until the milk man came by his house that morning. The old biddies just came back from the funeral. Muriel shook her head.

“Can’t believe Old Boy is dead,” she said. Her friends nodded.

“’Ow did ‘e die?” Clyde asked. Pauline smacked her in the head again with her purse.

“Ow!” the old biddy yelled.

“Talk properly,” the rich old biddy hissed. Clyde stuck out her tongue at her.

“Enough,” Lewis cut in, “Just stop today, okay?” Pauline and Clyde both settled down.

“Thank you,” the farmer said. They all got lost in a moment of reflection.

“What does that say about us?” Muriel asked. Her friends all looked up at her. The old biddy shrugged.

“I mean, we could just drop off at any time,” she said. Her friends became more depressed. Pauline rose to her feet from the cobble step.

“What?” her friends all asked, looking at her with confused looks on their faces.

“A bike?” Lewis asked. Pauline nodded as she held up her hands.

“Yes,” she said, “I always wanted one and life is short. So…”

“What kind of bike?” Muriel asked.

“A motorbike,” the rich old biddy said. Her friends’ jaws just dropped. Pauline stared at them as they broke into laughter.

“What?” she asked. The friends tried to think of the right way to put it.

“Why a motorbike?” Lewis asked. Pauline began to blush. Clyde gave off a loud whistle.

“Oh!” she boomed to the sky, “It’s fo’ a bloke!” The rich old biddy’s face turned a deeper red.

“Shut up!” she screamed.

“Can you even ride a motorbike?” Muriel asked. Pauline gave off a goofy grin as she shook her head. The friends all hung their heads.

“Oh boy,” Lewis mumbled.

William and his nieces had just come back from the funeral. Clover looked up at him unable to hold back her questions any longer.

“Uncle Will,” she spoke up, “Why don’t you like grandma?” Liz tried in vain to stop her before it was too late. William froze in a nervous panic.

“What was that?” he asked with teeth clenched. Clover tilted her head at him.

“Why don’t you like grandma so much?” she asked again. Liz touched her on the shoulders.

“Shhh,” she whispered. William lowered his head.

“Damn it,” he mumbled to himself. The old man looked at his nieces. He sighed and dropped his shoulders.

“Girls,” he said, “Come into the kitchen.” He walked ahead of them before they had the chance to speak. Clover looked up at her sister.

“Lizzie?” she asked. Liz frowned and followed their uncle. Clover still didn’t get what they seemed to understand why they looked grim. She let her shoulders dropped and followed her sister to the kitchen.

The old biddies went the junk yard for a motorbike. Pauline frowned at their surroundings.

“Why are we here?” she asked.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Lewis asked, “We’re looking for a motorbike.”

“But why here?” the rich old biddy asked.

“We can find something easier for her to work with,” the farmer replied.

“Can’t we get that out of the store?” Pauline asked.

“Trust me on this,” Lewis said, “When have I ever let you down?” The rich old biddy resisted answering that.

“Right,” the farmer said. The old biddies began their search.

“What are we looking for again?” Muriel asked.

“Something simple, but steady enough for Polly to use,” Lewis answered.

“But it has to look nice!” the rich old biddy threw in.

“You can afford that at the moment,” Lewis cut in, “Just look.” Pauline frowned at her.

“Fine, fine,” she said, “Just find me something, yeah?”

“Okay, okay!” Muriel and Clyde replied. The rich old biddy sighed as she started look for something herself.

“What if we don’t find it altogether in one piece?” Muriel asked.

“Just look for parts,” Lewis told her, “I can put it together myself.”

“You sure?” Pauline asked.

“I work on a farm with machinery every day!” the farm biddy said, “Just look!”

“Yes!” the others replied.

In the park, Mr. Brice and Mrs. Brown set a nice afternoon out on a picnic. He leaned in to kiss her on the neck, but she pushed him away. He tried again, but the same results came. The lecherous librarian gave her a pout.

“Mrs. Brown, what’s the matter?” he asked. His lover shook her head at him.

“I can’t,” she replied. The librarian gave her a puzzled look at his face.

“What do you mean?” he asked, “Why not?” Mrs. Brown turned to him with a worried look on her face.

“Old Boy Chris’ death got me thinking,” she said, “I should spend more time with my family.” Mr. Brice was about to speak, but Mrs. Brown stopped him.

“I love you, Sam,” she said, “But need to spend some time apart for a while.”

“For how long?” he asked. Mrs. Brown shook her head.

“I don’t know,” she replied.

“Oh,” her now-ex-boyfriend said as he lowered his gaze.

By three o’clock, the old biddies found the parts that they needed. Pauline frowned at what she saw.

“It looks so dirty,” she complained. Lewis frowned at her.

“It’s fine,” she brushed off, “We just need to get it to function first and then clean it up later.”

“And how will you do that?” the rich old biddy asked. The farmer smirked at such a question.

“Leave it to me, mate!” she bragged. The old biddy reached into her overalls and pulled out her tools. The other three watched her get right to work. Their jaws dropped at such speed and craftwork.

The Sunny Plum was closed the day as well. Tucker looked around at the café and shook his head. How many years led up this point? The man lowered his head. It just felt too depressing to even think about it. The only think he could count on was the peace and quiet that he had gotten so far today. Tucker shut his eyes.

Please let it stay like this, he thought over and over, Please let it stay like this! Please let it stay like this!

“TUCKER!!!” Annie screamed from the back, “THE PIPES ARE BROKEN AGAIN!” Her husband dropped his head and sighed. So much for that hope.

“Coming,” he complained. Then, the big man turned and walked to the house part of the café.

“Ta-da!” Lewis said with her arms out and open, grinning. Her friends all stared at the bike with their mouths wide open with shock. Pauline took a step forward.

“Holy…” she murmured. The rich old biddy turned to the farmer. “You did all of this?” Lewis nodded at her with a smirk.

“Of course!” she said, “So, who wants to take it for a test run?” The four of them went silent as they realized that none of them knew how to ride a motorbike.

“Anyone?” Lewis offered again. Pauline dragged Clyde forward.

“Oh look!” she said aloud, “This grease monkey will do it for us!” Clyde looked around at those words.

“Wait, what?!?” she shouted, “Why me?!?” The friends and smiled and nodded.

“Wonderful!” Lewis said as she clapped her hands together. Muriel and Pauline pushed Clyde forward to the bike. Lewis helped her get ready for the test ride. The farmer patted her on the back.

“Good luck, mate!” she said. Clyde glared at her.

“’Ow do I turn this damn thin’ on?” she asked.

“Just push the button,” the farmer answered.

“Where?” she asked.

“Right… there,” Lewis answered as she hit the button on the left. Clyde didn’t have time to ask questions as the motorbike took off like a rocket. The old biddy screamed as her friends took off after her.

“I ‘ATE YOU, POLLY!!!” she shouted.

“No, you don’t!” Muriel yelled back.

“Look out!” Lewis yelled. The motorbike tipped over and Clyde crashed on the ground, twisting her foot and swearing the whole time.

Crash Landing