Chapter Seven: Ego Guro-hime:

October 10th, 2006.

I don’t actually know how to begin this. This was just my shrink’s idea. Well… My name is Fukui Hitomi and I’m pretty much am fucked up. I don’t how this happened to me. Why do we turn out like this? I used to have big hopes for myself, but then they just quietly died away. I still hold onto one hope, however. There is this one guy I want to see again before I go to college. I feel that he’s the only best friend that I’ve ever had. Some people were nice, but only he meant it. If I could only see him once more…

I sighed and hit stop on my walkman. Even back then, Hitomi never said what was on her mind. She always smiled, even when she was in pain. I never really understood her at times.

“Why do you always smile?” I asked her one day in the fourth grade. She shrugged her shoulders at me.

“It’s all I can do,” she admitted. I didn’t understand her then and I still don’t. I don’t even think I can even bring myself to finish these tapes, not now at least. I shut my eyes.

Why did your mom give these to me? Why? Why?

I suddenly became aware of someone sitting on my bed next to me. I glanced up to see Sakura-hime looking down at me. I stared at her, blinking.

“What the?!?” I asked. She had a stoic look on her face.

“Morning,” she mumbled.

“Uh… why are you on my bed?” I asked.

“To apologize,” Sakura-hime said somberly. I blinked at her.

“Uh…” I mumbled. She looked over at Hitomi’s journal beside me and saw her picture.

“Who is she?” she asked, “Your girlfriend?” I shook my head at her.

“No,” I said, “She’s just a friend.” Sakura-hime looked at the picture while smacking her gum.

“Ah,” she said, “She’s pretty.”

“She’s dead,” I told her. That lady looked at me rather perplexed.

“Oh,” she said, “How did she die?” I sat up straight at that question.

“What?” I asked, stunned.

“How did your friend die?” Sakura-hime asked again. I tilted my head at her, hoping that I heard her wrong.

“Are you asking how my friend died?” I asked.

“Yes!” she said, pushing me. I blinked at her with big eyes.

“Why?” I asked.

“Cause I want to know,” Sakura-hime said, just inches from my face, “Now tell me, how did this friend of yours die?”

“Suicide,” I said at last.

“How?” she asked, “Hanging? Overdose? Slit her wrists?” I frowned at her enthusiasm at such morbid questions.

“She gassed herself to death in the family car,” I replied. I could’ve sworn that Sakura-hime looked like a little girl who had just woken up to see a mountain under the tree on Christmas morning.

“Wow!” she said, “Why did she do it?” I backed away from the crazy woman.

“I don’t know,” I said, “Her mom didn’t tell me. Why do you keep asking me all of these questions?” Sakura-hime backed up with a smile on her face.

“You’ll have to excuse me,” she said, “I find suicide and death to be quite arousing at times.” I tilted my head at her.

“Uh-huh…” I mumbled. Sakura-hime gave me an innocent little pout.

“Oh, come on,” she said, “I’m not going to try and molest you. I already apologized. What more do you want from me?” I nodded at her rather uneasily.

“Right…” I mumbled. I bolted out of bed and dashed across the hall to the bathroom.

“Tell me you find out why your friend killed herself, okay?” Sakura-hime shouted from the room. That only propelled me to run faster. I raced into the bathroom and slammed the door behind me, panting.

That woman… She’s just nuts! I decided to do my best not to be alone with Sakura-hime as much as possible.