Chapter Six: Equal Opportunities:
Roka looked up at me. “I love you, Jiao-chan.”
I looked down at him with big eyes. “What?”
“I love you!”
“Yeah… I thought you said that.”
He looked me straight in the eye. “Do you love me?” I had
not expect such a question. What is love? I never really gave it much of a
thought. My life was more about pleasure. Love never fit into my plans. I closed
my eyes.
“I don’t know,” I answered. Roka gave me little puppy dog
eyes with his pout.
“What do you mean you don’t know?” he whimpered.
I gritted my teeth. “There you go again.” I gave him a dirty
glare. “You act so childish!”
“Childish?”
“Yes!” I slammed fist against the bed. “Where did you get
this love crap?” I didn’t know why I was saying this. My heart started to ache
as I opened my mouth. Roka rested his head to my chest.
“I just thought…”
“Thought what?”
He gave off a sad sigh. “That we were now in a relationship
since we first slept together.” I pushed him off and climbed out of bed.
“Where are you going?” Roka asked.
“To the bathroom!” I shouted.
“Are you okay?”
“Just leave me alone!” I slammed bathroom door behind me.
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I ran the water in the bathroom sink in an attempt to clear
my head. What the hell was all of that? I am a goddess of pleasure. I don’t have
time for stupid drama like this! Yet, my heart won’t stop aching. I hate those
puppy dog eyes looking at me. He’s overstayed his welcome and has to go! But why
can’t I do it?
I sank to the bathroom floor, sighing. What the hell have I
gotten myself into? Still, I can’t run away from it. I might as well stick it
out until it “ends.” Somehow. I don’t feel like it’s going to end right away.
What the hell did I get myself into? I got up and walked back into the bedroom.
Roka still lay in bed, looking at me.
“Are you okay now?” he asked. I forced myself smile.
“Yeah, yeah,” I brushed off. I walked over and climbed into the bed.