“Text”= Japanese talking
“+American English talking+”
“/British English talking/”
“#Australian English talking#”
Green-grey eyes looking out in worry. Lucas couldn’t focus at basketball practice. Lexie sat in the bleachers watching him. Worry filled her boyfriend again. Lexie had Dissociative Identity Disorder. She had seventeen different personalities. Her boyfriend never knew what he would get into each day. Even though they friends on their side, Lucas still didn’t trust anyone with Lexie. Shuichi and some of the others in their group proved that they could be trusted. But that was just about it. Why the overprotection? Lucas had his reasons.
“Reed-san!” a voice yelled to him. The American looked up right away. The coach looked at the young basketball player in disappointment. The rest of the players watched the American boy return back to Earth. The coach shook his head him.
“Please focus today,” he said. “You’re the only good player I have so far!” Lucas nodded at him.
“+Yes sir!+” he called in Japanese. Then, he got back to the game. The coach rolled his eyes at the boy. “Americans!” he thought. “They are just hopeless!” He turned back to the game again. Lexie watched on and waved. Lucas played the practice game and watched her. He had to take Lexie with him when she didn’t work. That’s the only way he could keep tabs on her at all times. He couldn’t focus at all. That’s how he could describe his life with his girlfriend.
Lexie waited for her boyfriend outside of the locker room. She looked up and saw Lucas walking out with his gear. The American boy gave her a little smile.
“+Hey sweetie!+” he called to her. Lexie smiled back at him.
“+Good game?+” she asked. Lucas nodded at her.
“+Yeah,+” he said. Lexie smiled at him kindly. Lucas lightly patted her on the head. Such a sweet woman. They had been together since they were fifteen. They came to Japan for Lexie’s DID. They heard of doctors that could cure her. It seemed worth a shot. American doctors didn’t seem to be any help at all. After high school, Lucas saved up enough money to come out to Japan. That was two years ago. Since then, the couple had friends to help them every step of the way. But yet, Lucas still didn’t trust too many people with Lexie at all…
“+Lucas,+” Lexie spoke up. Her boyfriend quickly returned to earth.
“+Hm?+” he asked. Lexie looked at him innocently.
“+Is there something wrong?+” she asked. Luke shook his head.
“+N-Nothing,+” he said. “+Everything is fine!+” Lexie smiled at him warmly.
“+Okay!+” she called out.
“+Say,+” Lucas replied. “+You hungry? My treat!+”
“+Sure,+” Lexie replied. Her boyfriend smiled at her warmly.
“+Okay then,+” he replied. “+You just pick the place and we’ll go there!+”
“+Great!+” Lexie called. “+Then can we go to that new noodle bar that just opened up?+”
“+Sure,+” Lucas replied. “+Anything you want!+” Lexie giggled. Then they left the gym together. Lucas played the boyfriend part picture perfectly. He just wanted to make Lexie really happy. Easy to understand. Everyone wants to make that special someone in their lives so happy. Lucas knew that very well.
“+So,+” Lucas spoke up as they walked down the street to the noodle bar. “+How was your day, Lexie?+” The American woman turned up to him and thought about it.
“+It’s hard to say,+” she replied. “+I can’t remember most of it.+” Lucas looked slightly worried about that. Here came the problem with her DID again. In her other personalities, she would do things that would she wouldn’t do. But then, the woman wouldn’t remember a thing. That’s what made things so scary for him. He could never know what Lexie would be up to at times. Today proved to be why.
“+Well,+” he spoke up. “+How did most of your day go?+” Lexie thought about that for a moment.
“+Got up, had a shower, got dressed, had breakfast with you, kissed you goodbye, went to work…+” Lexie began to list. Lucas listened quietly. Normal so far. Maybe this could be a minor episode this time.
“+And now then what?+” he asked. Lexie thought hard about her day. She made that confused look on her face.
“+Funny,+” she replied. “+I can’t remember anything after that until I came to school.+” Lucas looked at her slightly uneasily. It happened again. Lexie had another episode. It seemed to have lasted the whole afternoon. Lucas hoped that she didn’t cause any trouble today.
“+I see,+” he replied trying to sound like everything would be okay. Lexie smiled at him a little bit. She snuggled up close to him. Her boyfriend smiled at her kindly as he patted her on the head. DID or not, Lexie fit the description of being a sweet girl.
Suddenly, a big busted woman walked up to the couple. She looked really angry. The woman grabbed Lexie by the shoulders. Lucas looked around surprised.
“You bitch!!!” she screamed out. “You’ve been sleeping with my husband, you little slut!!!” Lexie looked at her confused.
“+What are you talking about?+” she asked. The woman glared at her coldly.
“Liar!!!!” she cried. The woman shook Lexie harder. The poor soul tried to get away from her.
“+I don’t know what you’re talking about!!!+” she screamed again. “+Really, I don’t!+”
“Liar, liar, liar!!!!” the other woman screamed over and over again. Lucas looked on in panic. He couldn’t watch this anymore. He rushed over to her and tried to break up the fight. He managed to get both of the women far apart. The other woman wanted more from Lexie.
“Let me go!!!” she yelled out. “I want to her f*****g tits off, the little whore!!!” Lucas kept blocking her off.
“+Leave her alone!+” he shouted at her. “+She doesn’t know what you’re talking about!+” The woman didn’t believe him at all.
“LIARS!!!” she screamed out again. “YOU’RE ALL A BUNCH OF LIARS!!!!” Lucas kept trying to calm her down. The woman kept screaming at the couple. She made a scene of herself. A small crowd gathered around them all. Lucas and Lexie waited for the storm to pass over. Finally, the woman ran out of breath and began panting. Lucas walked over to her slowly.
“+She doesn’t know what you are talking about!+” he called out. “+So can you please leave us alone?+” The woman stared at her blankly.
“Really?” she asked. Lucas nodded at her.
“+Yes,+” he replied. “+So can you please leave us alone now?+” The woman stared at the couple for a moment and looked around. Everyone stared right at her. She looked down at her feet.
“Okay…” she said. Then, she walked away. Everyone still stared at the,. Lexie looked at Lucas slightly worried. Lucas looked around at all of the people.
“+What the hell are you looking?!?+” he yelled out. “+There’s nothing to see here! Go on, shoe!!!+” Everyone walked away from them. Lucas watched them go. He turned around to Lexie. She still looked at him slightly concerned. Her boyfriend went really pale. “Oh great!” he thought. “More things to explain to her later!” Lucas hated when things like this happened. He constantly had to lie to her about what happened to her or why people were angry at her. “Every f*****g time!” Lucas thought. “Every f*****g time!”
Dinner started off awkward. Neither one could speak at all. Lucas kept his eyes on Lexie the entire time. She ate on in silence as well. Her boyfriend sat nervous the whole time. He began to prepare the lie in his head. The whole story goes like this:
Three days ago, Lexie had been her dominant personality, Niki. She’s a stripper/sex worker. A very high-class and popular one in deed. She had the looks to match her status. Many men wanted to do her. So much so that many married and single men all turned to her for business. So much so, that many women wanted to run the hooker out of town with flaming torches. But the thing is, Lexie doesn’t remember a thing. She has the co-conscious type of DID. The sixteen other personalities know about each other but Lexie didn’t know anything about them. Thus, creating a HUGE headache for Lucas and them. The lady they ran into must be one of the girlfriends one Niki’s clients. Oh boy! This is going to be a fun one to explain!
“+Lucas!+” a voice spoke up. The American returned back to Earth. Lexie stared at him with her chopsticks in hand. She looked at him worried again. Lucas kept his eyes on her.
“+Hm?+” he asked her. Lexie played with her food some.
“+Why was that woman mad at me?+” she asked aloud. Lucas kept silent for a moment. He bit his lip some. “Show time!” he thought.
“+I don’t know,+” he replied. “+I’m just as surprised as you are.+” Usually, that explanation worked. But, not this time. Lexie shook her head at him.
“+Shuichi said that I’m sick,+” she said. “+I knew that, but he said that my illness is part of why all of these strange things happen to me.+” Lucas looked at her worried now. Now, he had a bigger problem. Lexie has some clue about her sickness no thanks to Shuichi. Her boyfriend bit his lip again. “Oh crap!” he thought. This was not good. Not good at all. Lucas took in a deep breath.
“+How much do you know?+” he asked. Lexie blinked at him some.
“+Hm?+” she asked. Lucas tried to stay calm. He took in a deep breath.
“+What did Shuichi tell you?+” the American asked. Lexie thought about that for a moment. She just shrugged at him afterwards.
“+Not much,+” Lexie replied. “+Just said that my strange troubles were due to my sickness and that I needed to talk to you about it.+” Lucas relaxed some after hearing that. “Good,” he thought. “She doesn’t really know anything after all!” But yet, he would still have to talk to Shuichi.
“+Something wrong, Luke?+” Lexie asked. Her boyfriend quickly returned back to earth. The woman ate some more noodles. Lucas shook his head.
“+No,+” he replied. “+Nothing at all.+” Lexie shrugged at him some. They went back to eating their dinner. The couple didn’t speak for the rest of the night.
“What?!?” Shuichi asked the next morning at school. Lucas tracked down the vocalist as soon as he could. He had bone to pick with him. Shuichi didn’t understand why the American was angry at him. Lucas gave him a deeply cold stare.
“+Why did you tell her that?!?+” he snapped. “+She’s not supposed to know about her DID!+” Shuichi shrugged at him again.
“She kept asking me questions!” he reasoned. “I had to give her something!”
“+Did you have to get suggest that I knew something about it?+” Lucas hissed.
“Well Lexie has to know the truth sometime!” Shuichi pointed out. “You can’t keep it from her, forever!”
“+I know!+” Lucas replied. “+But…+” Shuichi looked at him some.
“But what?” he asked. The American went silent on that one. He couldn’t answer his friend at all. How could he? He and Lexie lived in a complicated bond. No one knew or understood about Lexie’s past. He didn’t want them to. But he had to do something. This was starting to get out of control. Lucas shook his head.
“+Just forget, okay?+” he asked. Lucas walked off right away. Shuichi looked after him in silence.
“Okay…” he said flatly. Lucas stormed down the hall in stress. He came past the lockers and stopped. Shuichi did have a point. Lexie had to know the truth. But how could he tell it? Hey Lexie, you have DID! That would hurt her to the core. Plus, how would she believe him? Lucas breathed out hard. Why did it have to so difficult for them both? Why? Why? Why? He heard the bell ring in the background. Lucas quickly returned to earth. “Right!” he thought. “I’ve got a game today!” He hurried to the buses outside.
Today’s game didn’t help ease his mood either. Lucas didn’t focus at all. Lexie and her DID invaded his mind. Shuichi words stuck deep in his mind like a knife. How the hell could Lucas break the news to Lexie? Would she even believe him? How could they fix the problem? He almost passed the ball to the wrong team. Another one of his teammates caught the ball just in time. The coach grew pissed off at him.
“Reed!!!” he yelled out. “What the f**k are you doing?!?” The American looked up at him confused.
“+Huh?+” he asked. The ball came sailing towards him. Lucas managed to catch it just in time. Lexie watched the whole time. She seemed worried about him. The woman could tell he had something on his mind. “Oh Lucas!” she thought. Tonight would not be a good night at all. The Tigers lost by twenty points. The team and coach blamed it all on Lucas.
“What the f**k is wrong with you, Reed?!?” the coach snapped at him. “You acted like this was the first time that you played basketball in your life!” Lucas shook his head at him.
“+I’m sorry sir!+” he called out. “+I just got distracted tonight, that’s all!+” That didn’t fly with the all-mighty coach.
“Well, sort it all out for the next game or else you’ll be kicked off of the team!” he snapped at the American. Lucas stood up and bowed to him quickly.
“+Yes sir!+” he said aloud. The coach snorted at him again.
“Get out of my sight, you piece of shit!!!” he snapped at the player. Lucas bowed again and hurried away. Outside of the locker room, the American man met Lexie again. She looked at him in worry.
“+I’m sorry about the game,+” the woman murmured to him. Lucas gave her a little smile as he nodded at her some. He lightly played with her long black hair.
“+It’s okay Lex,+” the man said to her. “+Let’s go home.+” Lexie nodded in silence. Then, they headed home in silent defeat. Tonight just turned out to be a bad night after all.
At home, Lucas just couldn’t understand it. Lexie just messed with his mind to no end. The coach and the team want him to break up with her so that he could focus on the game more. He had already been tempted to do so many times. But yet, Lucas couldn’t do it. Lexie needed him badly. He was the only person that she trusted deeply. (Okay, there was Shuichi. But sometimes, that guy could be too reckless at times.) Lucas couldn’t leave Lexie into the hands of their friends. Too dangerous to do that. So what could he do?
However, Lucas had a bigger problem than that. It all laid in Lexie herself. Living with people diagnosed with DID was a total nightmare. Lexie had seventeen different personalities to deal with. Some of them were easy to live with. Others, like Jessica, proved to be a nightmare. Lucas never knew what he would come home to. Sometimes he wished that he brought some pepper spray with him. The worst part was that Lexie had no clue about her condition. She never knew why she had certain injuries. Where she had been for days, weeks, or months. What she did in those times away. Why some people confused her with someone else. Why she constantly saw outfits she didn’t recognize in the closet. Lexie always asked him about those things. But how could he answer her? He just couldn’t tell her the truth off the bat. How could he? She wouldn’t believe him anyway. But he had to do something…
“+Luke?+” a small voice asked him. The American looked up right away. Lexie stood in the kitchen doorway looking at him. She had on her pajamas. Lucas blinked once at her.
“+Lexie?+” he asked. “+What are you doing up so late?+” His girlfriend shook her head at him.
“+Are you coming to bed?+” she asked him. The man shrugged at her.
“+Yeah, yeah,+” he replied. “+Soon. Pretty soon…+”
“+Okay,+” Lexie replied. Then she went back to bed herself. Lucas smiled as she left. He breathed out heavily. Oh boy. Why did it have to be so hard? Just… why? The next morning wasn’t any easier. Lucas and Lexie sat at the table eating breakfast. They watched each other in silence as they ate.
“+Got any classes today, Luke?+” the girlfriend asked.
“+Yeah,+” he said. “+All in the morning too.+”
“+I see,+” Lexie replied. They ate on at that first bit.
“+You?+” Lucas asked. “+Do you have any classes today?+” Lexie shook her head.
“+No,+” she replied. “+I have the day off from work today as well.+”
“+Ah,+” Lucas replied. “+I see.+” The clock ticked in the background. Lucas stared on at Lexie. This was just not good. She had no school or work today. That only meant one thing. Well, time to try and fix the problem.
“+Uh, Lexie,+” Lucas began. “+Don’t you want to go and stay with the landlady for today?+” His girlfriend shook her head.
“+No,+” she said. “+I just want to say home for a change.+”
“+Well then,+” Lucas spoke up. “+I’ll call someone to stay with you.+”
“+I just want to stay home alone today,+” Lexie challenged. “+What’s wrong with that?+” Lucas sighed aloud in stress. Okay, he hadn’t expected this at all. Usually, Lexie agreed with him willingly about the arrangements he would set up for her. All of a sudden she didn’t want to do that? Could one of her other personalities be trying to take over right away?
“+You can’t do that,+” Lucas explained calmly. Lexie looked at him oddly.
“+And why not?+” she asked. Her boyfriend looked up at her pale. There it was. A direct challenge to seek the truth. How to counter that? He couldn’t tell her the truth yet? Oh well, here goes.
“+Because…+” he began. The American looked up at his girl. She waited patiently for an answer. The clock ticked loudly in the background. Lucas could feel himself sweat. This had just now become complicated. Lucas had no way out of it.
“+Because why?+” Lexie asked again. Lucas breathed in heavily again.
“+Because,+” he started again. “+It’s complicated, okay? Just leave it at that!+” He looked up quickly. Lexie had a serious look on her face. She didn’t believe a single word that he just said to her. But that wasn’t what surprised Lucas at all. He noticed that… Lexie looked pretty pissed off as well. Her boyfriend began to worry.
“+Lexie?+” he asked. “+Is there a problem?+” Contempt flashed in her eyes like a blinking light.
“+Why do you insist on babying me so much?+” she asked him in a stern voice. Lucas looked at her suspiciously.
“+Lexie,+” he said to her. “+Is that you?+”
“+Yes!+” the girl declared loudly. “+It is me! It’s always been me!!! Why do you ask me that question when we argue?!? What are you hiding from me? Why won’t you tell me anything?!?+” Lucas couldn’t take it anymore. Her questions finally cut into him deep. Lucas rushed forward and pinned Lexie up against the wall. His girlfriend looked on surprised. The American man began shaking her back and forth repeatedly.
“+You want to know what’s wrong with me?!?+” he shouted out loud at her. “+You want to know what the f**k is wrong with me?!? You mess with my head every single day!!! You are so sick that it worries me!!! Every day I have, ‘Where’s Lexie? Who is she with? What is she doing? How long will she be gone?’ You can’t even begin to understand what I have to go with you day after day after day! In fact, I don’t even know you!!! Who are you?!? What are you?!? You just can’t be a normal human being! I’m even lucky I’m still alive!!! Between you and them, it’s f*****g miracle I haven’t gone crazy and killed myself because of all you yet!!!!+” Lexie stared on blankly.
“+Is that all?+” she asked him. Lucas stared at her blankly as he let go of her. He didn’t say a single word. The man just turned and walked away. Lexie watched after him slightly confused.
Outside, Lucas sighed out loud to the sky. It had finally gotten to him. Lexie’s condition, Shuichi’s big mouth, the hectic episodes due to Lexie’s condition, their friends wild and erratic behavior, stress with the basketball team. It had all finally sank into to sanity and began to feast away at it. He just couldn’t take it anymore. Why did this mess all have to come do to this? Why? Why? Why?!? There could only be one person to blame from this latest hitch. Lucas made it all the way to Tokyo Cram College like a time bomb ready to go off at any second. He scanned the yard for Shuichi. The American found him talking to the rest of the crew. Lucas stormed over to the pink-haired vocalist. He grabbed Shuichi by the shirt tightly.
“+What did you open your big yakking mouth for?!?+” Lucas yelled out loud. “+What? Tell me, for what?!?+” Shuichi looked at him startled. All of the boys tried their best to pry the basketball player off of the vocalist. Shuichi panted hard.
“She has to know the truth sometime, Luke!” he yelped out. “How long do you think you’re going to keep lying to her like this? She already suspects something in wrong with her! Don’t leave her in the dark anymore!” Lucas stared on in silence. Shuichi’s words seemed to bring him back to reality again. The American couldn’t speak at all. He just walked off into the school. It all really got to him. First Lexie, now Shuichi. Why is he going off on random for no real reason? Lucas leaned up against the lockers and sighed. This wasn’t him at all. Maybe Hiro was right a couple of days ago. Being under Lexie too much was getting to him. But what could the American could do? He had to keep close tabs on his girlfriend otherwise people would take advantage of her illness and use her for their own sick ideas. But, it was all turning him into the crazy one. All just like the book Catch-22. What a mess this all had turned into.
Suddenly, the bell rang in the hall. Lucas quickly came back to reality. He looked around quickly. The students were all hurrying to class. The American slowly pieced together what was going on. “Oh crap!” he thought. “I’m going to be late for class!” Then, Lucas got up off of the lockers and ran to his own classes.
For the rest of the morning, Lucas kept drifting in and out of lectures. He couldn’t focus at all. His mind wandered back to Lexie. He wondered how she was doing at their apartment all by herself. She said that she would be fine. However, her DID said otherwise. “Maybe I should call her…” he thought repeatedly during the whole morning. But every time Luke started to do so, something always held him back. “I better not…” he thought as a result. This went on many times during the day. His pals noticed that he was having some difficulties. They seemed to want to talk to him to find up what was going on. But better judgment told both sides to stay away from each other for the time being. He did explode at Shuichi a moment ago. Best to stay away for a moment. Everyone didn’t know.
Lucas wondered around the halls for a while. Lexie invaded his brain once more. He thought about calling her once more, but decided against it. He couldn’t face her either. Not after he blew up at her as well. Lucas slid his cell phone back into his bag. He stood there and sighed.
“Hey Lucas-san,” a voice called to him. The American looked up at him. Dr. Taka looked at him dead on. She really did look like a professor today. The physiatrist looked at the student puzzled.
“Lucas-san,” she began. “What are you still doing here? Didn’t your classes end an hour ago?” The American looked at her slightly confused at first.
“+Huh?+” he asked as he looked at his watch. The Good Doctor was right. It been noon already. Lucas dropped his head back in distress. “+Damn it!+” he mumbled to himself. “+Today just keeps getting worse and worse.+” Dr. Taka observed him quietly.
“Is there something wrong, Lucas-san?” she asked him. The man looked up at her surprised right away. He stared at her blankly. Dr. Taka had double majored in microexpressions and psychology. So, she knew when something was wrong. Lucas knew that he couldn’t lie either. The Good Doctor could tell when they were doing that as well. That didn’t Lucas with many options. Well, might as well tell the truth or descend even farther into his growing spiral. He turned to her slowly.
“+Uh, well…+” he began. Dr. Taka smiled at him kindly.
“Want to talk about it?” Lucas didn’t answer her. He just shrugged at her in defeat instead. The doctor nodded at him in reply.
“Come with me,” she replied. Then, she led him all the way back to her office. Dr. Taka sat behind her desk while the American sat on the other side. The doc set up her camcorder and hit record.
“Lucas’ Vid Diary entry number three, dated April twenty-eighth, 2009,” she started off. “Okay Lucas, what’s on your mind today?” The American drew in a deep breath. No turning back now. Might as well spill it. Well, here goes.
“+My main problem is with Lexie today,+” he explained. “+She didn’t have classes or work today. I offered to take her to a neighbor’s apartment. My girlfriend refused. She wanted to stay home alone without anyone watching over her. I just can’t trust her with her DID. She gets into so much trouble with her condition. I have been tempted to call her many times this morning, but I shouted at her because of my stress and worry. I thought it would be better to leave her alone at that point. But now that doesn’t look like a good idea either.+”
“You are stressed and worried more than ever today?” Dr. Taka asked him calmly.
“+Yes,+” Lucas replied. “+I’m doing terrible at practice lately, I ended up causing my team to lose yesterday, I yelled at Lexie this morning, and I snapped at Shuichi because he dropped a hint about her condition.+” Lucas buried his head in his hands and shook it. “+I don’t know what to do,+” he went on muzzled. “+Shuichi says I should just go on and tell her the truth. But, I don’t know how Lexie will take it or if she’ll believe me at all. I just don’t know what to do anymore!+” Dr. Taka smiled at him in sympathy.
“You really do love and worry about Lexie that much, do you?” she asked. Lucas looked up at her slowly.
“+Yes,+” he replied. “+Yes I am.+”
“You seem to worried about her,” the Good Doctor pointed out. “Try to let Lexie experience a little independence at a time. And when you feel the time is right, tell her the truth.” The American looked at her slightly confused.
“+But how will I know when the time is right?+” he asked her. Dr. Taka smiled at him still.
“You will know,” she replied softly. “Trust me.” Lucas felt a little better after hearing all of that. He still wasn’t sure what she meant by all of that, but at least the man was back to stable ground again for the time being. He nodded once at the Good Doctor.
“+Thanks, Dr. Taka,+” Lucas replied. “+I just needed someone to talk to, I guess.+”
“You’re welcome,” she replied. Lucas stood up, bowed, and left the office. Dr. Taka watched him with a calm smile on her face. She knew he would make the right decision in the end. The Good Doctor hit stop on her camcorder, packed it away, and went out to lunch.
Outside to Lucas’ surprise, he found the rest of the crew with Lexie waiting around for him. The American looked on slightly confused.
“+Hey guys,+” he greeted them. “+What’s going on?+” Shuichi stepped forward.
“We’re going to get a bite to eat,” he replied. “You coming with us?” Lucas gave him a blank stare.
“+Wait,+” he replied. “+So I’m forgiven now?+”
“/Yeah,/” Casper answered.
“+I explained everything to them, Luke,+” Lexie replied. “+You’ve been under a lot of stress lately. That’s all.+”
“So are you coming or not?” Shuichi asked. The American nodded at him quickly.
“+Yeah,+” he said. “+Come let’s go!+” The crew headed right off to lunch. Lucas looked all around him as they all headed off to lunch. Here they all were. His friends and his girlfriend. When it was all said and done, they all cared about him and each other until death do they part. If insanity had to be the price to pay for them, so be it. He and Lexie would have a support team in the end.