Saturday Night

Saturday night at the community center. The old biddies sat around at their table at the center of the room. They came across a little problem.

“I left my wallet at home,” Muriel said. Her friends looked at her rather surprised.

“What?!” they asked. The old biddy nodded her head.

“Yeah,” she said.

“Me neither,” Lewis said.

“Me too!” Clyde yelled. Aisha sighed and lowered her head.

“Really, girls?” she asked. “How do you function from day to day?” The other three people eyed her.

“And you?” Muriel asked. Aisha gave off a nervous laugh.

“You forgot yours too?” Clyde asked.

“Yeah,” Aisha mumbled.

“So what now, pillock?” Clyde hissed. The leader shrugged at her. The other three groaned at her.

“Figures,” Lewis mumbled.

“Hey, all is not lost,” Aisha insisted. “There’s still hope here.” Three pairs of eyes glanced at her.

“How?” Muriel asked.

“I have a plan,” their leader lied.

-------

Dinner always happens on Saturday night. Tonight, it’s bashers and mash. Lewis narrowed her eyes at Aisha.

“So what’s the plan?” she whispered in a hiss. The leader bit on her lower lip.

“Well… uh…” she began. Her eyes darted around the room. She looked at all of the key players in the building tonight. “Let’s see…”

“Ya ain’t got no plan, do ya?” Clyde asked.

“I do!” Aisha said. “Just give me a second!” Her friends all frowned at her. Their leader lowered her head in a jam.

“I don’t know…” she mumbled. Muriel, Lewis, and Clyde lowered their heads on the table.

“Now how will we pay for dinner?” the farmer old biddy asked.

“Beggin’?” Clyde suggested. Aisha sneered at such a thought.

“That might not be a bad idea,” Lewis spoke up. Their leader lowered her head in defeat. You lot are hopeless, she thought.

-------

In the back corner of the building, Annie and Tucker sat watching the younger couples dance. The wife glanced over at her husband.

“Tucker,” she complained. Her husband frowned at her.

“What, woman?” he asked.

“How come we don’t dance like we used to?” she asked. Tucker gave her a strange look.

“We never danced,” he said.

“Sure we did,” Annie argued. “It was on our wedding day.”

“I don’t remember that.”

“You and I danced for the first time as husband and wife.”

Tucker frowned as if lost in thought. He finally shook his head. “Sorry, I still don’t remember that. Really, I don’t.”

Annie frowned and smacked her husband on his big hairy arm. Tucker winced as he rubbed the spot that she hit him on.

“Ow, what the hell was that for?” he hissed under his breath. His wife snorted at him.

“Wanker,” she muttered back. “You were drunk then anyway!” Annie folded her arms across her chest and turned away from him towards the wall. Tucker blinked at her ever so lost.

“Okay then…” he muttered to himself.

-------

The old biddies began their plan to get money to pay for dinner. They all broke up into four different directions.

-Clyde’s Corner-

The nasty old biddy made her way over to two handsome-looking middle-aged guys at the drink bar. Her grin was enough to scare away the craziest person on the planet. Too bad the men looked up and saw her barreling towards them.

“Oi! Hand me a quid, would ya?!” she shouted at them. Her appearance and loud voice were enough to frighten them off.

“Bugger!” she complained.

-Muriel’s Corner-

Muriel didn’t have much luck either.

“Could you spot me some quid?” she asked one of the servers at the buffet table.

“No,” the other woman said in a stern voice.

“Please?”

“No.”

“My friends really need the money tonight. We forgot our wallets at home and…”

“No!” the server shouted at Muriel. “Now go away!” Muriel lowered her head.

“Okay…” she said as she dropped her shoulders. The old biddy turned and quietly walked away.

-Lewis’ Corner-

The farmer just messed up from the beginning.

“Excuse me,” she asked one the other servers heading to the kitchen. “Excuse me!” The younger woman chose to ignore her.

“Excuse me?” Lewis asked again. “Hey! Excuse me! Excuse me!” The server disappeared into the kitchen with the door swinging shut behind her. The farmer lowered her finger.

“Okay…” she said in a soft voice. Lewis turned around and walked away.

-Aisha’s Corner-

The leader didn’t even try. She returned back to her table and lowered her head in defeat. In the end, the old biddies had no money to pay for their dinners tonight.

Just another Saturday night at the community service in Brit-Wales.

No Money, No Food

listube - free online on-demand music player